The Father Ted Night on Channel 4 over ‘The Christmas’ was a great treat. What a pity though, that we didn’t hear from Pauline McLynn but apparently she doesn’t like being identified with Mrs. Doyle anymore and so declined to take part. Fair enough, but she was missed.
Mrs. Doyle was a huge element in the success of Father Ted. Her caricature portrayal of the archetypal Priests Housekeeper was hilarious. Along with proffering endless cups of tea to the priests she also demanded that all visitors to the Parochial House took a cuppa too, with her famous “go on, go on, go on. You will, you will, you will”. What I found especially hilarious was the way Mrs Doyle also repaired the roof and undertook all manner of DIY tasks in the house, often coming a cropper in the process.
This year will mark the 10th anniversary of my ‘retiring’ from the world of work, where I was PRO for a national charity to become a… well I don’t know what I became… a housewife (but I married a man not a house), homemaker (but I’m not a builder), stay-at-home mom (but I do a lot more than stay at home) after 22 years in the workforce I walked away to embrace my new job description which was not that unlike Mrs Doyle’s. After years of pretending that we shared the domestic chores equally, I took on all tasks relating to the home and children (with the exception of repairing the roof). He confined his energy to ‘bringing home the bacon.’ This brought a definite sense of relief for both of us. No more rows about whose job was the more important and therefore who should take time off when one of the children were sick. No more ‘contracts’ about housework and the weekly shopping. Oh no. Now our roles were clearly defined and very traditional. We both felt very much that we were doing the right thing and generally still do.
I take my role as a homemaker/housewife/stay at home mom, just as seriously as any of the other jobs I have had over the years. I work hard. Unlike any of my former jobs, this one comes with no salary (now I share his), no status, limited perks and little thanks. Like my previous jobs, there are some times that are far busier than others.
In my last job (as PRO for a national charity), my busiest time was in March and April in the lead up to our national fundraising day. By the time the day itself arrived I was exhausted and so always arranged for time off immediately afterwards. Nowadays, my busiest time is in the lead up to Christmas. Weeks of running about with lists in my head culminates in cooking the big dinner for eight on the day itself. And of course I am not alone. There are many thousands of us, mostly women who have done likewise. How wise therefore were our grandmothers and great grandmothers who decided that the official last day of Christmas should also mark ‘Nollaig na mBan’ or Women’s Christmas. This was traditionally a day when the men waited on the women who had worked so hard over Christmas.
I am delighted that this old custom is seeing something of a revival recently with groups of women gathering on January 6th for a meal out or a coffee in the morning. I hope to honour my inner Mrs Doyle and my maternal lineage by gathering some of my own female friends on Thursday for a chat and a cuppa. I shall send them a text message which will end with the immortal words “go on, go on, go on, you will, you will, you will.”
Barbara Scully is a writer, Reiki therapist and full-time mother to 3 daughters who range in age from 23 to 10 years. She is also slave to four cats and master of one not very bright dog. She is a regular contributor to East Coast FM’s Morning Programme and is on Twitter: @aurora111
One of the funniest things I saw this year was part of Ted Night. The camera was on Pauline McLynn and then she had to get into character and in a split second she was Mrs Doyle.
Never heard of Women’s Christmas. Maybe I better cook dinner tonight for a change. (Don’t balk – I do all the cleaning in the kitchen).
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by It's a secret, Hazel K Larkin and Barbara Scully. Barbara Scully said: Hope all the wimmims going to enjoy nollaig na mban today. I wrote abt it for the @antiroom. http://bit.ly/dF5uuj [...]
I like it! Never heard of this before but I may suggest it as a new tradition in our house. Next year though, right now I have housework to do…
Meh, one christmas is plenty, dragging it out further is torture.
* grumbles, bah humbug*
An excellent piece of writing. I especially like the way you completely sum up the madness, and sometimes thankless job, of being a stay at home parent, yet still see it as the best job ever! As long as we don’t end up looking like Mrs Doyle we’ll be doing ok.
I thought the Ted documentary seemed rather keen to imply that by refusing to take part, McLynn was being a bit sniffy about Mrs Doyle.
I was glad to see her own take on saying no:
http://www.paulinemclynn.com/site/blog/ted
I’m off to lie in a bath of completely justifiable Baileys now.
I was glad to read that, Helen, she has always stuck me a generous woman with her time and considerations.
Sorry to go off topic but I agree with Helen that the documentary’s wording was, um, unfortunate. It lead to a lot of nasty comments on Twitter about Pauline McLynn that is clearly unfair in the light of her blog post.
Lovely post. I really like the way you describe operating as a couple with children in terms of working as a team. This is what myself & my husband do also and I know that he feels he can better pursue business opportunities knowing that I am there to take care of the children even if I’m a bit (aka very) slapdash when it comes to the housework.
However, as you say it’s very important to have other elements to your life as a stay at home Mum too. Thank goodness for the flexibility (if not the financial reward) of writing and the joy of the Antiroom.
Now, coffee? One lump or two?
Hey John – delighted that we have introduced you to Nollaig na mBan… bet your other half will be delighted too.
Becca – step away from the housework right now! Today is definitely a Day Off…. enjoy
Arlene – have a drink dear!!!
Carole – thanks for the compliment. Yep, it is the best job ever and I have to admit there are definitely days when I do bear more than a passing resemblance to Mrs Doyle
Helen – bath and baileys – perfect! Enjoy
Eleanor – thanks! Yep, this very traditional arrangement works for us. As the kids get older I have more time for writing and reiki and value that too!
oh – you sit down and they serve you.
All right. I can get behind that and so can my inner princess.
Happy Nollaig na mBan women, I have enjoyed the blog since I started reading it.
missed the Fr Ted thing, but sorry to hear that Pauline Mc Lynn did not take part.
Really enjoyed reading this, especially as the role of a homemaker was presented in an affirmative way. It really is so much work to keep a family ticking over smoothly but this is often downplayed in comparison to the work involved in earning money. At the same time, it’s also very positive to hear a person discuss sharing their partner’s income as this is something that has been seen in a negative light (especially when useless articles like the Grazia poll are published). It just exemplifies that one can have independence, personal fulfillment *and* a balanced partnership.
That said, I’m looking forward to the time when my children are old enough to be informed of such occasions as Nollaig na mBan, if it means I get a cup of tea and kiss as thank you for the Christmas madness…still a few years left to go!
Lol Jan – glad you and your inner princess approve!
Thanks Christine..
Nay – here is a big virtual hug! You get it! That is exactly the point I was trying to make. It is a pain in the bum and a huge privilege to be at home taking care of kids and animals and house! And the old cliche is so true – it is precious time and it flies by. Enjoy it while they’re young!